The Self You’ve Been Avoiding
Why facing your shadow might be the most powerful step toward personal freedom
“I thought I needed to burn it all down.”
That’s the lie most of us believe about change.
Hi friends,
We imagine transformation will arrive like a thunderclap—quitting the job, ending the relationship, moving across the world. We think it has to be dramatic to be real. Loud to be lasting.
But here’s what I’ve learned: the most powerful changes usually begin in silence.
Not with a leap. But with a quiet decision made in the stillness of a moment no one else sees.
That’s the heart of what we explore in Episode 633, which dropped Friday.
Episode 633 — Becoming Who You Were Meant to Be: The Science of Tiny, Powerful Shifts
Real change doesn’t always come with fanfare. It starts with clarity. With honesty. With one small act that says, “This is who I am now.”
In this solo episode, we break down the science and psychology behind transformation—how behavior loops, identity-based habits, and micro-decisions shape our lives more than motivation ever could.
We talk about BJ Fogg’s Tiny Habits. Katy Milkman’s Fresh Start Effect. And the deep power of naming a new beginning—for yourself, by yourself.
Because becoming who you were meant to be isn’t about doing more.
It’s about doing one thing differently—on purpose.
→ Listen to the full episode here
You’ll also get a simple framework to help you create meaningful change—not by overhauling your life, but by aligning with the person you already want to become.
What’s New on the Podcast This Week
We’re in week two of our July series, The Power to Change, where we aim to dive into how to rewire the way we think, feel, and lead—from the inside out.
Here’s what’s coming this week:
Tuesday – Keila Shaheen
The Shadow and the Self
Best known for The Shadow Work Journal, Keila Shaheen opens up about the healing power of integration. We explore how to meet the parts of ourselves we’ve disowned—and why doing so sets us free.
Thursday – Christopher Connors
Leading with Emotional Intelligence
Author and executive coach Christopher Connors shares how emotional intelligence is more than a buzzword—it’s the foundation of great leadership, authentic influence, and lasting personal growth.
In Case You Missed It
🎧 Dr. Bob Rosen — Episode 629
Why Change Fails—and How to Make It Stick
From navigating personal pivots to leading transformational change, Dr. Bob Rosen explains why behavior change is hard—and how to build the self-awareness required to make it sustainable.
🎧 Karen Salmansohn — Episode 628
Emotional Fitness for a World on Fire
With heart and humor, bestselling author Karen Salmansohn offers tools for staying emotionally resilient in a culture addicted to urgency and fear.
✨ This Week’s Spark
Try this:
When something triggers you this week, pause before reacting.
Ask yourself: “What part of me is being activated right now?”
Not what they did. Not what they said. But what wound it touched.
Because emotional intelligence starts with self-attunement.
And your shadow? It’s not your enemy. It’s your invitation.
Let’s Keep Growing Together
Thank you for showing up here—not just to listen, but to live these ideas.
If something in this week’s content speaks to you, I’d love to hear it. Just hit reply and let me know what landed.
Until next time,
— John
Live like you matter.