The Story We Outgrow

A reflection on attachments, survival mode, and what Dr. Bob Rosen reminded me about change

Yesterday at dawn, I slipped out of the house for a run along Tampa Bay—my go‑to ritual for “clearing the head.” The sun hadn’t breached the water yet, but my mind was already racing through deadlines, travel logistics, and the never‑ending loop of what‑ifs that masquerade as productivity.

Then Bob Rosen’s voice echoed through my earbuds, a line from our conversation that pinned me mid‑stride:

“Stability is an illusion. Uncertainty is reality. The question is—what are you still gripping that’s keeping you from growing?”

I felt the sentence land in my chest the way truth does—like a sudden stillness inside a spinning room. In that moment, I saw the story I’d been clutching: If I keep every plate spinning, nothing bad can happen. It’s the narrative that powered my promotions, packed my calendar, and—if I’m honest—kept me up at 3 a.m. measuring worth by motion.

Bob calls these tight‑fisted storylines attachments—emotional contracts we once signed for safety that now script our days in invisible ink. Control promises certainty. Success promises validation. Perfection promises a bulletproof shield against judgment. They served us once, but seasons change; what kept us safe can keep us stuck. You can’t build a new life on top of an old operating system.

All of this unraveled as I stood on the bayfront path, sunrise painting the water a restless gold. I realized my so‑called discipline was survival mode in a nicer outfit. The nervous system can’t tell the difference between a looming bear and an inbox that never sleeps. And every attachment has fear glowing at its center: fear of being ordinary, fear of irrelevance, fear of chaos. Awareness doesn’t erase the fear, but it does loosen its grip long enough to ask a better question: What if growth begins with letting go, not holding on?

For Paid Subscribers
As a premium member, you now have access to:

• The Detachment Workbook — A guided, science-backed journal to help you identify and begin releasing the emotional attachments that keep you stuck.

• The Companion Guide — A deeper dive into the episode’s themes, including reflection prompts and micro-practices to help you embody the conversation’s insights.

• Full Conversation Access — Listen to the unedited, extended version of my interview with Dr. Bob Rosen, including bonus insights and stories we couldn’t fit into the main episode.

We created these tools to be more than companions—they’re catalysts for real, lasting change.