Becoming Who You Were Meant to Be

The Science of Tiny, Powerful Shifts.

Let’s start with a lie most of us believe.

The lie of big change.

We believe transformation requires a dramatic rupture—quitting your job, ending a relationship, selling your house, or taking a drastic step like flying to Bali—to prove that you’re ready to become someone new.

That’s the myth. That only massive, movie-worthy actions lead to real personal growth.

But here’s the truth: change rarely begins with a dramatic leap.

It usually starts with one small, quiet, powerful decision.

Not a grand announcement. Not an Instagram-worthy pivot.

A single moment of clarity—one that often happens when no one else is watching.

Randy Blythe, lead singer of Lamb of God, shared this with me in Episode 574. Now, if you don’t know Randy’s story—you might assume his moment of awakening came with headlines or handcuffs. He’s lived hard, been through hell, and has seen more chaos than most of us can imagine.

But when he made the decision to get sober, it didn’t happen on a stage. Or in a jail cell. Or in some 12-step circle of rock-bottom drama.

The incident occurred in a hotel room in Australia. He was alone. Hungover. And tired.

“It was one of the most sober and rational decisions I’ve ever made,” he told me. “I just knew—this wasn’t who I wanted to be anymore.”

No fanfare. No rockstar epiphany. Just a moment of internal honesty.

And in that stillness, he changed the trajectory of his life.

That’s how change actually begins.

Not with explosions. With alignment.

And science backs this up.

Katy Milkman, a behavioral scientist at Wharton, calls it the Fresh Start Effect. In our interview, she explained how our brains are wired to embrace change more easily during moments that feel like clean slates—first days, birthdays, Mondays, new seasons.

“People change best when they feel like they’re at a fresh start,” she said. “But you don’t have to wait for New Year’s Day. You can create that window yourself.”

What does that mean for you?

It means today—right now—could be your fresh start. If you name it as one. If you decide to mark this moment as the beginning of something better.

And if you’re still skeptical, look at what BJ Fogg’s research tells us.

He’s the Stanford professor behind Tiny Habits—and he’s flipped the old model of behavior change on its head.

You don’t need to overhaul your life. You need to lower the bar.

According to Fogg, successful change doesn’t come from motivation—it comes from designing micro-behaviors that are easy, repeatable, and connected to identity.

Want to become a reader? Start by opening the book—not finishing a chapter.

Want to get stronger? Just roll out the yoga mat—not commit to 45 minutes.

“People think they lack motivation,” Fogg said, “but what they really lack is a system that fits their life.”

So what does all this mean?

It means you’re not one massive leap away from being the person you want to be.

You’re one decision away. One micro-action. One fresh start you declare for yourself.

That’s how the myth of big change breaks.

And that’s how real change begins.

Want to know what keeps people stuck even after they start changing?

In today’s full ad-free episode of Passion Struck, I unpack the hidden loops that sabotage growth—and how to break them using emotional rewiring.

You’ll also get the Becoming Workbook—a 7-day tool to help you rewire your habits, emotions, and identity from the inside out.

👇 The rest of this post is for paid subscribers 👇

Unlock the Full Experience:

Ready to start becoming—not just “fixing”?
Subscribe now to get:

✅ The full solo episode with insights from BJ Fogg, Katy Milkman, Jud Brewer, and more
✅ The Becoming Workbook with microshift prompts and habit trackers
✅ Weekly tools to help you create real change—without burnout

Join hundreds of growth-minded humans doing the work.

Because ideas don’t change your life.