John, I shared your article with close friends who were athletes.
We were at a book promotion gathering last weekend of former college athletes. Sports have always been a huge part of our life.
One of my husband’s teammates, and our close friend, was one of the panel of speakers. He also is the only pro football player to have summited Mt. Everest. And the 7-summits.
My point: there is much discussion about how detrimental it is for the individual growth and connection of these young athletes in college who some are now being paid millions of dollars at 18 yo, can move through the portal to another university, on a whim for the dollars.
My husband’s football group (who played decades ago) have the unique human experience of strong friendships and connections that have become even more valuable with time.
They feel a page has been turned in college sports that may never be recaptured.
The growth of the individual due to a commitment to teammates.
Endurance as you gut it out to put out your best effort. Learning about yourself as you grow due to challenge. Self-esteem!
The loss that comes for young athletes from thinking being paid millions gives personal value and self-esteem that lasts beyond the limelight. Unfortunately, all too often it doesn’t.
Much of the interpersonal connection, working hard in every play so you don’t let down your teammates, building friendships that last a lifetime is disintegrating.
The kids may not know the quality of their experience is not the same, but former athletes and fans feel regret over dollars replacing value placed on longstanding commitment to overcome right where you are!
I’m on my soapbox over this. Complex topic.
(U of O Ducks are in my city)
Human value and connection is no longer the emphasis.
Wins and TV stats for commercialism success is the name of the game.
Interesting insights — I had never thought about it this way before. I do agree that the opposite of mattering is not loneliness. For me, loneliness is the absence of like-minded people who understand me, share similar world views, and just feel familiar. For me to matter to others, I feel they need to get value from whatever I provide. However, for someone to matter to me, simply liking them is enough — because appreciating someone for who they are is, in itself, a form of value
John, I enjoyed reading your article. In my experience, the question of mattering is not so easy to determine. I supervised people for much of my professional life and I encounter comments related to how I was perceived to matter. I was often told that I had good people working for me and that made my job easier than other supervisors.
Except for other experienced supervisors, the reality of my being a good supervisor was overlooked. When I went on vacation and an alternate supervisor filled in for me, my worth was demonstrated. Coaching is another job where the cause and effect may not so evident.
A person seeking the status of "Mattering" is fine and dandy. However, mattering to oneself (knowing their worth and contribution) is as important as mattering to others.
John, I shared your article with close friends who were athletes.
We were at a book promotion gathering last weekend of former college athletes. Sports have always been a huge part of our life.
One of my husband’s teammates, and our close friend, was one of the panel of speakers. He also is the only pro football player to have summited Mt. Everest. And the 7-summits.
My point: there is much discussion about how detrimental it is for the individual growth and connection of these young athletes in college who some are now being paid millions of dollars at 18 yo, can move through the portal to another university, on a whim for the dollars.
My husband’s football group (who played decades ago) have the unique human experience of strong friendships and connections that have become even more valuable with time.
They feel a page has been turned in college sports that may never be recaptured.
The growth of the individual due to a commitment to teammates.
Endurance as you gut it out to put out your best effort. Learning about yourself as you grow due to challenge. Self-esteem!
The loss that comes for young athletes from thinking being paid millions gives personal value and self-esteem that lasts beyond the limelight. Unfortunately, all too often it doesn’t.
Much of the interpersonal connection, working hard in every play so you don’t let down your teammates, building friendships that last a lifetime is disintegrating.
The kids may not know the quality of their experience is not the same, but former athletes and fans feel regret over dollars replacing value placed on longstanding commitment to overcome right where you are!
I’m on my soapbox over this. Complex topic.
(U of O Ducks are in my city)
Human value and connection is no longer the emphasis.
Wins and TV stats for commercialism success is the name of the game.
Interesting insights — I had never thought about it this way before. I do agree that the opposite of mattering is not loneliness. For me, loneliness is the absence of like-minded people who understand me, share similar world views, and just feel familiar. For me to matter to others, I feel they need to get value from whatever I provide. However, for someone to matter to me, simply liking them is enough — because appreciating someone for who they are is, in itself, a form of value
John, I enjoyed reading your article. In my experience, the question of mattering is not so easy to determine. I supervised people for much of my professional life and I encounter comments related to how I was perceived to matter. I was often told that I had good people working for me and that made my job easier than other supervisors.
Except for other experienced supervisors, the reality of my being a good supervisor was overlooked. When I went on vacation and an alternate supervisor filled in for me, my worth was demonstrated. Coaching is another job where the cause and effect may not so evident.
A person seeking the status of "Mattering" is fine and dandy. However, mattering to oneself (knowing their worth and contribution) is as important as mattering to others.