This is such an interesting theme because it opens so many different layers of what it actually means to feel emotionally nourished by other people.
And while reading this, I kept thinking that maybe the hardest part is not only expressing love or appreciation.
It is being able to fully receive it.
Some people learned very early that love feels safest when it is earned through usefulness, competence, strength, or emotional self-control. So even when someone says:
“You matter.”
“You are loved.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
something inside still asks:
“Would I still matter if I stopped functioning so well?”
And I wonder how much emotional starvation comes not only from what remains unspoken between people —
but from how difficult it can feel to truly rest inside being loved without needing to justify our existence first.
I believe part of why we don't express love that easily is because there is a lack of self-love. I realised that people who love themselves unconditionally by default love others unconditionally. And when you hate yourself, by default you refuse the love of others. So in order to NOT receive this love, you don't give love. Tricky minds...
This touched something very deep in me. We live as though there will always be another morning, another phone call, another chance to say “I love you,” “I miss you,” “I’m proud of you,” or simply “stay a little longer.” But life has a quiet way of reminding us that tomorrow is never promised.
So yes, say it now. Hold them now. Forgive now. Love out loud while the people who matter can still hear your voice and feel your arms around them.
Some flowers should never have to wait for funerals to be given. Some words deserve to be spoken while hearts are still beating.
Thank you for writing something so painfully beautiful and true.💜🙏
This is such an interesting theme because it opens so many different layers of what it actually means to feel emotionally nourished by other people.
And while reading this, I kept thinking that maybe the hardest part is not only expressing love or appreciation.
It is being able to fully receive it.
Some people learned very early that love feels safest when it is earned through usefulness, competence, strength, or emotional self-control. So even when someone says:
“You matter.”
“You are loved.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
something inside still asks:
“Would I still matter if I stopped functioning so well?”
And I wonder how much emotional starvation comes not only from what remains unspoken between people —
but from how difficult it can feel to truly rest inside being loved without needing to justify our existence first.
I believe part of why we don't express love that easily is because there is a lack of self-love. I realised that people who love themselves unconditionally by default love others unconditionally. And when you hate yourself, by default you refuse the love of others. So in order to NOT receive this love, you don't give love. Tricky minds...
My sentiments exactly.
This touched something very deep in me. We live as though there will always be another morning, another phone call, another chance to say “I love you,” “I miss you,” “I’m proud of you,” or simply “stay a little longer.” But life has a quiet way of reminding us that tomorrow is never promised.
So yes, say it now. Hold them now. Forgive now. Love out loud while the people who matter can still hear your voice and feel your arms around them.
Some flowers should never have to wait for funerals to be given. Some words deserve to be spoken while hearts are still beating.
Thank you for writing something so painfully beautiful and true.💜🙏
Thank you for writing this essay, it truly resonated with me. 🙏