The R.E.A.C.T. Method

A 5-step framework for staying grounded when your nervous system wants to do anything but.

Let me take you to a moment from earlier this week.

It’s not a stadium.

It’s my half-finished house.

I’m standing in what will eventually be our family room, staring at grout that isn’t what we chose. I’m holding an invoice I didn’t expect—double the cost. No warning. No breakdown. Just a final total that made my stomach drop.

And across from me, the contractor is yelling.

Not explaining. Not clarifying. Just yelling.

He brings up God. He questions my integrity. He threatens to walk away from the job—mid-remodel, mid-chaos—with weeks of work left and no resolution in sight.

And inside me?

Something cracks.

Because I’ve spent the past eight months in a kind of survival mode—rebuilding a life that was literally washed away. When Hurricane Helene hit, we lost everything. Since then, it’s been nonstop decisions, compromises, and attempts at creating stability out of mess.

And now, this.

I tried to stay calm. I asked fair questions. I pointed out the mistake—the grout, the charge, the discrepancy. But his anger kept climbing—and mine started to rise with it.

My jaw tightened. My voice got sharp. My thoughts spiraled. My body was flooded with adrenaline.

Fight or flight.

That’s what was happening—neurologically. Biologically. Emotionally.

And here’s the thing no one tells you about leadership—

It’s not tested in the spotlight.

It’s tested in the fire.

This moment wasn’t just about grout.

It was about trust.

It was about respect.

And more than anything—

It was about self-leadership.

Because when your nervous system is hijacked and your values are under threat, you’re faced with a choice:

Do I lose myself to the moment…

Or do I lead myself through it?

That’s the real test.

Not whether you win the argument.

Not whether you “stay professional” or “keep it together.”

But whether you can access clarity in the middle of chaos.

Whether you can respond from who you want to be—not just from what feels justified in the moment.

It’s easy to talk about emotional regulation and mindful connection when things are calm.

It’s another thing entirely when someone is screaming at you and everything in your body wants to scream back.

And maybe you’ve been there too.

Not in a construction zone—but in a conflict.

With a colleague. A partner. A friend.

A moment where everything inside you flared—and you had to decide:

Am I reacting—or am I leading?

That’s what this post is about.

Not the easy kind of connection.

The tested kind.

But let’s be honest—

this wasn’t just a conflict over construction.

It was a full-blown test of composure, identity, and presence.

And here’s where we shift gears—from story… to science.

Because when that kind of chaos hits—

when the yelling starts and your heart is racing—

it’s not just emotion.

It’s biology.

And this next part?

It explains why your body can feel like your worst enemy in moments like this.

Why you can know better… and still snap.

Why logic goes quiet—while reactivity grabs the mic.

What’s Below for Paid Subscribers:

Inside, I’m sharing:

• The ad-free podcast audio for Episode 627

• The R.E.A.C.T. Companion Guide—with real-world scripts, reflection prompts, and a printable one-sheet to keep you anchored under pressure

• The full extended lesson, including what I actually did in the moment, what I learned, and how you can apply it in your life today

If you’ve ever felt hijacked by emotion and wished you had a tool to pause, center, and respond—this is that tool.