Let Something End Before the Year Begins: A Christmas Reflection
On release, gentleness, and making room for what’s next
There is a moment on Christmas night that often goes unnoticed.
The energy of the day has passed. The wrapping paper is gone, the house is quieter, and the lights feel softer somehow. For a brief window, the world stops asking us to produce, improve, or perform. It is one of the few moments in the year when nothing new is being demanded of us.
That moment matters more than we think.
Because before the New Year arrives with its familiar pressure to set goals and reinvent ourselves, Christmas offers something far more honest: the opportunity to notice what we are still carrying and whether it still belongs in the life ahead of us.
The Additive Illusion of Change
We tend to think of change as an additive process. New habits. New disciplines. New versions of ourselves. But some of the most meaningful transformations do not begin with what we add. They begin with what we allow to end.
Most of us are carrying at least one thing that has outlived its purpose. It might be an old story about who we need to be to matter. A belief that rest must be earned. A habit of bracing that once helped us survive uncertainty or disappointment. At one point, these patterns served us. They helped us adapt, stay safe, and move forward when we lacked better tools.
But safety and freedom are not the same thing.
The Quiet Cost of Carrying
What once protected us can quietly start to limit us. The cost is rarely apparent. It does not announce itself as a crisis or a collapse. Instead, it shows up as a contraction. Life begins to feel tighter. Presence takes more effort. Joy feels conditional. We do the right things, say the right words, meet our responsibilities, and still feel a low-grade sense that something is missing.
Relationships are often the first place this shows up. We are there, but part of us is still guarding something old. Conversations become efficient instead of exploratory. Laughter feels lighter, but shorter-lived. We care deeply, yet struggle to feel fully at ease with the people we love.
Our bodies notice too. The breath stays shallow. The shoulders do not quite drop. There is a kind of tiredness that does not match how much we have done, because we are not only carrying the present. We are also carrying beliefs, fears, and expectations that no longer fit.
Over time, we adapt. We tell ourselves this is simply what adulthood feels like. We call it responsibility, realism, or maturity. But often, it is an adaptation to a smaller version of life than the one we are capable of living.
The Lighter Space That Follows Release
The hopeful truth is that letting something end does not create chaos. It creates space.
Letting go does not immediately make life easier, but it often makes it lighter. And that difference matters. When something finished is finally set down, the nervous system responds before the intellect catches up. The body softens. The breath deepens. There is a subtle sense of space, like opening a window in a room you have lived in for years, without realizing how stale the air had become.
That space is not empty in a hollow way. It is fertile. Expectant. It allows attention to return to places it has quietly abandoned.
What fills that space first is rarely dramatic. It is not instant clarity or confidence. Instead, small, almost forgotten experiences return. Rest that does not need to be justified. Curiosity that is not immediately evaluated. Moments of presence that do not feel like work.
When we are no longer carrying an outdated story about ourselves, we stop asking others, consciously or unconsciously, to confirm or contradict it. We show up less guarded, less rehearsed, more available. And when one person softens, others often follow. Presence has a way of inviting more presence.
Our bodies respond as well. Sleep comes more easily. Tension releases more quickly. Not because life has become simpler, but because we are no longer wrestling with something that no longer needs to be carried.
Perhaps most importantly, we relearn something essential. Becoming is not a punishment or a performance. It is an unfolding. Letting something end does not erase the past or deny what we have lived through. It simply stops allowing old protections to dictate the size of the present.
A Gentle Way to Let Something End
So how do we let something end without turning that process into another act of self-violence?
We often get this wrong by trying to force clarity or closure. We demand certainty. We make ultimatums with ourselves. But gentle endings begin with attention, not aggression.
A more helpful question than “How do I get rid of this?” is “What did this protect me from?” Gratitude has a way of loosening what force cannot. When something feels acknowledged and honored, it no longer needs to cling so tightly.
From there, endings rarely happen all at once. They happen in small moments, when an old pattern appears, and we choose not to follow it automatically, when we pause instead of pushing, when we rest instead of proving.
There will be days when the weight is picked up again. That does not mean the ending has failed. It means we are human. Endings deepen through return, not perfection.
And eventually, often without a clear marker, we realize that the thing we once carried no longer fits in our hands. Not because we pushed it away, but because we outgrew it.
Tonight’s Quiet Invitation
So tonight, nothing dramatic is required. You do not need to change your life or resolve every story. You only need to do one small, private thing.
Sit quietly for a moment, perhaps near the lights or a window.
Name one piece of weight you have carried long enough.
Thank it sincerely for what it once protected.
With kindness, permit it to rest. Breathe out as you do.
Gentleness is not weakness. It is the form courage takes when it trusts that it is safe to soften.
One day, this night will be a memory. And what will remain is not the struggle, but the moment you chose to treat yourself with care. That is the gift of this season. Not a perfect beginning, but an honest ending that leaves more room for what comes next.
Listen to episode 707 of Passion Struck.
This is a great post, and I'm letting some things stay in 2025 that should have stayed in 2016 💕