Dr. Nicole LePera on How to Be the Love You Seek

Why my interview with Dr. Nicole LePera struck a deeper chord than most

There are episodes that resonate—and then there are ones that feel like a mirror. My conversation with Dr. Nicole LePera was the latter.

We sat down to talk about her new book, How to Be the Love You Seek, and what unfolded was a deeply moving exploration of how we show up in our relationships, how our childhood stories quietly direct our emotional lives, and what it actually means to love ourselves.

Nicole doesn’t do surface-level. She challenges the overly simplified version of self-love we often hear about. Instead, she defines it as presence—being with yourself fully, especially in the hard moments. That truth alone reframed a lot for me.

She opened up about her own journey—realizing she was emotionally disconnected in her marriage, how she started speaking honestly about her pain, and how healing begins when we stop hiding from our own stories.

What struck me most was her concept of the ego story—the deep-seated beliefs we develop in childhood (like “I’m not enough” or “I’m too much”) that silently shape how we love, trust, and respond in relationships. And then she gave us a way forward: empowerment consciousness. The ability to become aware of our patterns, regulate our emotions, and make conscious choices instead of reacting from old wounds.

This is the heart of her approach to holistic psychology—healing that includes not just the mind, but the body, emotions, and nervous system. It’s personal, it’s practical, and it’s deeply human.

If you’ve ever wondered why you keep repeating the same relational patterns—or how to finally break free—this conversation offers both insight and tools.

Here are a few takeaways that stayed with me:

Listen ad free to Dr. Nicole LaPera as she unpacks how self-healing begins with radical honesty and empowered choice.