The Loaded Gun We All Carry
How to Finally Unload Your Emotional Triggers
I’ve been carrying something heavy lately, right in my nervous system.
A casual comment lands wrong, and suddenly my chest tightens, my thoughts loop, and I’m replaying an old injustice as if it happened this morning. Or someone flakes on a plan, and the quiet sting of betrayal flares up, even when logic says it’s minor. These aren’t dramatic explosions. They are low-grade fires that burn energy I don’t have to spare.
We all walk around with these loaded guns: old emotional triggers wired into our biology before we even had the prefrontal cortex to question them. They fire automatically, draining willpower, spiking stress hormones, and quietly sabotaging the presence we crave.
What if the path to real freedom isn’t avoiding triggers, but learning how to unload the gun so no one can pull the trigger anymore?
That question has been echoing since my conversation with Dave Asprey on Passion Struck. Dave is the biohacking pioneer, founder of Bulletproof, and author of the new book Heavily Meditated: The Fast Path to Remove Your Triggers, Dissolve Stress, and Activate Inner Peace.
He treats meditation as high-performance engineering for the nervous system. At the center of his work is a simple, repeatable tool called the Reset Process, a way to trace, feel, forgive, and release triggers at their root.
Why Triggers Aren’t Just “In Your Head”
Dave’s big insight hits hard: emotional triggers live in the nervous system, not just the mind. When your mitochondria, the power plants in every cell, are weak because of poor sleep, inflammation, toxins, or blood-sugar crashes, your body defaults to survival mode. The amygdala lights up, willpower tanks, and even tiny slights feel like existential threats.
He shares his own story. Years ago, a public smear campaign kept him triggered for months. Comments calling him a fraud stung, not because they were true, but because they hooked into an old program: injustice. “I did the right thing and still got punished.”
He traced it back to first grade, when he tattled on a kid and got blamed instead. That forgotten outrage had been running in the background, coloring every unfair moment since.
The science backs it. Injustice and betrayal are among the stickiest adult emotions because they threaten core survival wiring around trust and safety. But Dave’s reset doesn’t fight them. It disarms them.
The Reset Process: Five Steps to Unload the Gun
Dave Asprey built this into his 40 Years of Zen program, where executives spend five days rewiring their brains with neurofeedback and advanced practices. Clients often achieve decades-worth of inner peace in days. The Reset Process is the portable version anyone can use.
Here’s how it works (paraphrased from our conversation and his book):
Locate the sensation: When triggered, pause. Where do you feel it? Tight chest? Clenched jaw? Pit in the stomach? Name the exact body feeling without judging.
Trace the origin: Ask, “What’s the earliest memory where I felt this exact same sensation in my body?” Let curiosity guide you. It almost always points to a pre-rational childhood moment, before you could logic it away.
Feel it fully (with adult awareness): Revisit the scene, but now as your current self. Let the younger you feel seen. Breathe into the sensation instead of pushing it away.
Forgive to release: Forgiveness here isn’t moral approval. It’s a biohack to stop wasting nervous system energy on the past. Consciously let go: “I release this charge. It no longer serves me.”
Reset and choose: Notice the shift. The trigger loses power because the automatic loop is broken. From here, you respond from congruence, inner state matching outer behavior, instead of reactivity.
Dave calls this “unloading the gun.” Once disarmed, you’re no longer programmable by old alerts. It’s biohacking the soul: upgrade the hardware (mitochondria, nervous system) so the software (mind) can finally run clean.
Biology First: Why You Can’t Think Your Way Out
One of the most counterintuitive parts of our talk: you can’t meditate or willpower your way past a trigger if your cells are screaming “danger.”
Dave’s equation is simple: weak biology equals low resilience equals hair-trigger emotions.
That’s why he pairs the Reset Process with biohacks: trace minerals in his Danger Coffee, mitochondrial support, better sleep, and avoiding toxins. When cells make abundant energy, willpower skyrockets. You can sit with discomfort longer, forgive deeper, and stay regulated even when life throws curveballs.
This ties straight into mattering, the core theme running through Passion Struck. Dave sees “I don’t matter / I’m not lovable / I’m alone” as one of the most common pre-verbal programs. Installed early, it runs on autopilot, making us over-give, under-receive, and chase external proof.
Biological upgrades give you the bandwidth to question it. When you feel safe and energized inside, the old story loses its grip. You start receiving gratitude instead of deflecting it. You matter because your system finally believes it.
From Triggered to Congruent: The Real Win
Dave’s bigger vision: congruence. When inner state aligns with outer behavior, your words carry ten times more power. No more faking calm in a board meeting while seething inside. No more smiling through betrayal while your nervous system screams.
He learned this the hard way. After months of suffering from that old smear, he finally ran his own Reset. The emotional charge vanished. The comments kept coming, but they no longer landed. Ironically, every jab sold more coffee. He even jokes about it now: “Thanks, Joe. Expensive lesson, but effective marketing.”
That’s freedom: not avoiding triggers, but becoming untriggerable. Not silencing thoughts, but choosing which ones get airtime.
10 Small Experiments to Start Unloading Your Triggers
Track one trigger today: Notice the body sensation without fixing it. Just observe.
Run a mini-reset: Next time you feel the flare, ask, “Earliest memory of this feeling?” Write what comes up.
Forgive privately: Pick one old injustice. Say aloud (or journal): “I release this. It’s done.”
Upgrade energy first: Add two tablespoons of quality olive oil daily, or try Dave’s trace-mineral coffee. Notice if triggers hit softer.
Practice congruence: In one conversation, name the real feeling (“I’m frustrated. We’re circling.”). Watch what unlocks.
Receive gratitude: When someone thanks you, pause and let it land. Don’t deflect.
Limit news/alerts: When triggered by headlines, ask, “Why does this one hook me?” Reset instead of ruminating.
Breathwork quick-hit: Try Dave’s rapid breathing (from the book) for an instant nervous system reset.
Mattering check-in: Ask, “Where am I withholding that I matter?” Share one small truth this week.
Reflect weekly: Journal one trigger you disarmed. What shifted in your energy or relationships?
Which trigger have you been carrying the longest? What would unloading it free up in your life?
Listen to the Full Episode
Download the Free Companion Reflection Guide
Read Heavily Meditated by Dave Asprey
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